Holy hell. With as many forms of communication as there are today, it's amazing anyone has true privacy anymore, let alone the ability to put someone out of your mind if needed.
A current experiment of mine on this topic is seeming to backfire on me (or maybe it's just a good lesson learned). A guy I am currently dating (very casual, not serious) is connected digitally to me on nearly every communication level I can think of: text messaging, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Foursquare, email, Google Buzz, and Gchat (some of you probably don't even know what a couple of those things are). Frankly, it's starting to drive me mad being able to know his every move.
While the digital age lends us many opportunities to unite with people from afar, easily share information, and simplify efforts of keeping in touch with people, it also can be frustrating and damning to romance and dating.
I don't like what it's doing to me. As if women don't over-obsess enough, now I have ammunition, digital proof if you will. He doesn't return one email, but I can see him on gChat? (so I KNOW he read it!) Sure, he's got time for Twitter or Facebook, but where's the text message response? Hey how about you stop inviting me to join a LinkedIn group and ask me out on that 4th date?
Ridiculous, huh?
In the meantime I just keep thinking, if this guy turns out to be a jerk, that's a lot of digital dis-connections I'll have to make.
And what if we make the cut and actually form a relationship? It's time to let the Facebook world in on it. The last serious relationship I was in about two years ago was my first time actually posting a Facebook status of "In a Relationship with ". In one felt swoop I was able to tell all of my friends about my new man, let them see a picture of him, and maybe even get some quick information about him. Of course this activity spurred several inquiries from my friends, as actually connecting yourself to someone via a Facebook relationship is deemed quite serious.
And what if the relationship ends? The moment that person digitally ends your relationship connection is like another slap in the face. When things ended with my former FB connection, we actually took steps to tell people personally that we broke up, before updating our profile information. And even after that painful moment, I was still getting an influx of messages asking me if I was "ok". (Which by the way the answer was NO!) If we choose to make Facebook or these other digital outlets a place we openly share information, we are essentially letting hundreds of people into our emotional space, for better or worse.
By the way, there is a reason for that "block" feature on Facebook, chat, Twitter, etc. Use it if need be.
2 comments:
ahaha that is all so true! It's funny though, people complain about their privacy or how "facebook" ruins relationships. Yes ok, true and all but who is the one responsible for putting so much information out there for people to read? These social networking thigns arent stupid, it's the people behind the account. lol. I think what's most awkward about ending relationships, is having to delete or untag all those freaking pictures you have of them. As if putting things in a box wasn't hard enough, now you have to sort through all your memories online and put that away.
Well, I know your blog is new but I'm lovin it so far! Keep em coming!!
xo anastasia b
Thanks Anastasia!
Right on with what you said. We love showing off our significant other virtually, and no doubt social networking superb for keeping in touch with friends and family, but it does get icky when things break off.
I guess this is the world we live in now. And why these sites invented a "block" function :)
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